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May 14 Mother's DayFirst off I would like to wish every mother out there a very blessed Mother's Day. I pray you never stop loving and caring for you children. They need you and your love.
I'm not about to write this so that you will feel sorry for me, because honestly, I don't want anyone to. What I want is for all women and men out there to seriously understand how important a mother is to a child.
I wish I had been raised with a mother. I don't think I have ever had a real relationship with a woman except for my Granny, who has been lik a mother to me. But with every other woman I am afraid of being rejected by them like my mother rejected me. I'm constantly thinking of whether they will give up just like my mom did. I'm uncomfortable talking with women because of how 'I' have pictured them in my mind. I always see them just like my mom. I have tried to talk to them but I always see myself pulling away in fear before they have a chance to do anthing.
Everyday I still wish I had my mom there for me. I wish she was there to comfort in those tough times; to wipe away my tears when my heart felt broken; to hold my hand as I grew into a lady. Most of all I wish I had her love. Every child needs her mother's love. A mom and a dad are both equally important in a child's life. You take one away and they will be lacking one way or another.
Please, don't leave any comments saying how sorry you are for me, because this is the life God has chosen for me. I only would like you all to know how important each roll is in a family. Don't abandon them. They need you, even if they may fail to mention it to you from time to time.
MJ
May 02 My Surprise PartyIt has been a LONG while since I last wrote, and I've been trying to put these photos up for a long while now, but my comp was messing up on me so I was not able to access my space. I'm sorry that none of your comments have ben replied to. I will get to them as soon as I can.
The sunday afternoon, following my 18th Birthday, the members at the church I attend threw me a surprise party. Even though I had my suspisions, I was honestly surprised!
 Everyone was soo good at hiding their steps!  I was really thankful for their thoughtfulness. Since I was 10 years old I have been asking my dad for a surprise party, so I knew I would eventually have one, but the quetion was when. I always suspected, but this time I was caught off guard.
Thank you everyone who made this year special for me. i had more fun for my 18th then I thought I would.
Enjoy the pics!
MJ March 08 Last DayLast day... I can't believe I'll never be 17 again after tomorrow at 8:30. It's just a scary thought.
Well, I have to say good-bye to a good year and look to a new one. I'll miss being able to say I'm 17 to people, but now they will look at me as an adult. It's AMAZING what ONE year can do.
MJ March 02 THANK YOU FOR YOUR PRAYERSDawn is Alright! I'm not quite sure what the doctors said, but all I now is that she is fine.
Thank you for praying. God Bless
MJ URGENT PRAYER REQUEST!PLEASE PRAY! Dawn, a 9 year old girl, was just hit side on by a car. She was crossing the street to go to the store when a car hit her. PLEASE PRAY that she will be alright and that God will be the strength for her family.
Dawn is a loving little girl who I've known her whole life. She was the first one I started babysitting aswell as her older brother. She has a unique way of thinking. Everyone who knows her loves her. She is a joy and she loves Jesus with all her heart.
I ask again. Please pray for her. She needs all your prayers. God loves it when we all come together to pray for one another.
MJ February 18 Quiz
54. What is a must have accessory? For me... hair elastics. 55. How much is the most you've ever spent in a single store? hmmm... just under $100 56. Who is the least fashionable person you know? .... least? My brother, but hey... that's ok. We all have our own styles. 57. Do you do drugs? No 58. What kind of shampoo do you use? Garnier Fructis 59. What are you listening to right now? Point Of Grace 60. Who was the last person that called? Ian January 28 WeirdWow! My last entry was soo short yet it received more comments in one day than my blog usually gets in a week!
Hehe... You know... I actually love being different from everyone else. These days everyone seems to be into the same things. I'm not only tallking about drugs and stuff like that, but also just the fact that others take on the personality of another just to feel included. Hey... most of us in life attempt it at one point or another. I know I did, but gosh.. did I regret it. I lost my best friend because of it. What do you do when people don't accept you for who you are? Do you try to change you personality? Your appearance? What about your relationship with Christ? Honestly, what do you do?
After I lost my best friend I realized that it doesn't matter whether people liked me for who I was or not. We are the way we are because God made us that way. If people don't want to accept you then hey, that's their problem unless you are living outside of God's Word.
Why not try to just be ourselves for a change? Try accepting yourself just the way you are. Don't let other people's opinion of the coolest image get to your head. If someone says your weird, thank them.
 They're completmenting you. You're not like them. You're your own individual created by God. And being different is great!. In fact, like I said earlier, I'd rather be 'different' than be like everyone else, But I prefer to use the word... 'weird.'MJ January 22 Which way did my imaginary friend go?I'm feelin' kinda insane right now... but don't be frightened, it's normal for me. January 14 An Odd DaySo odd. So weird. Normal for me.
Anyway, yeah. I slept like 17 hours today!! I feel so out of sorts. My body must be really exausted. I need a break. I probably should have taken some of my Christmas vacation to rest and sleep in. Oh well. Too late now.
My Camera is NOT working properly! i honetsly don't understand what's wrong with it. Below you should see a pic that I took. See how it turned out? Strange. Everything's strange for me. I kinda like it that way.
 Other than that, I don't have much to say sadly. God Bless....
MJ January 06 Time for a new blog.Ok. My dear Gramma, whom I love dearly, has requested that I write a new blog since Christmas is over with. I agree with her, so I'll see what I can put together. Here goes...
I started a new job yesterday. It's not much but will help my family when we loose money from the government as I turn 18 in March. I clean the church everyday after school for an hour. it's pretty fun. I like it at least. It won't take time away from my school, and will keep me in good shape.
 LOLMy Christmas holiday was quite a busy one. I didn't get much rest at all. LOL. Oh well. I received more sleep than usual, which is good.
A friend of mine told me that I should stay away from the Metro Station. hehe. Reason being that I was rushed to the hospital in an Ambulance from there. (That was quite a night. I won't be forgetting that anytime soon) Also about a week ago i went to the V.B.'s to pick up Amy and Jenni for a sleepover. (I miss them soooo much. aswell as all the other children). Anyway, I was carrying Jenni in the stroller down the stairs to the Metro. On the last step I lost my balance and tripped. I landed on the step sitting and caught Jenny in the Stroller but as I did that I tiwisted my right wrist. Ouch! lol... Maybe I SHOULD stay away..... j/ks
Anyone recently see Narnia? Oh my.... I saw it twice! I loved it. I'm a fan of the books and I was really happy with the way the movie turned out. For Christmas I received the 2 cds from the Movie; The Original Soundarack, and Music Inspired by the movie. They are really good. I'm constantly listening to them. hehe.
I think the part I liked the best was when Aslan came back to life, and also the battle at the end. AMAZING! I love the movie, but nothing compares to the books.
Well it's getting rather late here and I need to be getting to bed. Maybe I'll write more tmrw. You never know.
God Bless!
MJ December 24 Dear Lord,Dear Lord,
Help me to always remember the real reason for the season. Help me to push aside these feelings of hurt and rejection. Help me to be an example of your love and forgiveness. Help me to not be hurt by.... everything going on around me, but help me to concentrate on you.
I love you,
Amen.
The holidays always seem to be a time of disappointment. Ever ask yourself why? I think part of it is that people put their hopes up too high, and I have done just that this year. I'm not talking about gifts or presents, but about family.
Hold your family close this year. Let them know you love them. God Bless.
Merry Christmas everyone!!
Yet Another AdventureAgain I'm going to write about another adventure I had.
Last night... well... ok let me start at lunch time. Around 12 pm, my stomach started to hurt. I figured that I was just hungry, so I went to get something to eat when it was my lunch break. (I was at work) After I ate my stomach started getting worse and worse. It was so bad that I had to sit and crouch. Well Rachel, who was the runner that day, called me and told me that my brother could come and replace me so that I could go home. Even though I wanted to stay I accepted the offer and waited till my brother arrived. As soon as he did I threw up beside the store I was standing at. And on St. Catherine Sreet of all places!!!
 (If your from Montreal, or you have visited it, then you'll know that that street is one of the busiest streets down town!) Well after that I felt a little better so I was able to walk to the Metro station near by, 'Peel.' On my way there I texted Ian asking him if he was able to talk. I waited for 5 minutes at the top of the escalator for a reply, but none came and my stomach was starting to really hurt again. So I knew I at least needed to make it to the bottom near where that train comes. As soon as I reached the bottom, the pain grew so intensive... I sat down and couldn't move or get up. I wasn't able to think staright... I was in too much pain. Ian called! I answered my cell and told him I couldn't move. He was on his way. All i could think about other than the pain was my Dad. Somehow I managed to call him and told him that I was in great pain. He asked me some questions and then figured it was apendex and he started to worry. He told me to call 911. I didn't want to. I didn't want to have to go to the hospital. I told him that Ian was on his way and he would help me. My dad was crying... I was in so much pain that I was crying uncontrollably, and people were starring at me and then walking right by. I'm thankful my dad called a couple of times because I almost passed out at times from the pain. I was on the phone with my dad when I saw a Puma bag fly by me and I told my dad that Ian was there. I passed the phone to Ian. I don't remember the next 10, 15 after that, but Ian said that I passed out twice. Ian had called 911, and they were on their way. He then called his mom and I could hear a tremble in his voice when he spoke to her. I realized, despite my pain, how much ... trouble?? I don't think that is the right word, but how much of it I was causing.
When the Abulance arrived they asked me and Ian a lot of questions and then helped me up the stairs. Well.. I ended up puking again but this time in the Metro Station... I felt horrible. I was so worried about leaving my mess there... eeeewwww!! When we got into the Ambulance, they took my pressure and gave me a barf bag. hehe... too late for that. They then annouced that there were bringing me to the 'Royal Victorian Hospital.' .... .... .... The last time i was at there was when I was born... I figured that now I was going to die there....
 It ended up that it wasn't my apendex but instead I had something called... 'gastropascular'.. spelled something like that. At the hospital they had me put on one of those 'hospital robes' and put an IV in my hand. They took blood samples and then gave me gravol through the IV. (That made me kinda druggy) lol... It must have been funny to watch me. My dad, brother, and Pastor Paul came to see if I was ok. I'm glad they came and gave me support, but I'm even more glad that Ian was there and stayed brave through the whole thing. Thank you Ian. (Don't worry... I don't plan on getting sick in any Metro stations again. BTW.. Your welcome for your first ride in an Ambulance.)
I'm also glad for all the prayers that were offered up for me last night. I needed them. I was in and out of there all in one night. I'm doing much better. I didn't go to work today, but I did go out shopping with Audrey late on in the day, and then went to our chuch Christmas concert and performed. I thank God everything is alright. Praise GOD!!December 19 The Driver On The Bus Goes...Wow, ok... before I go into the whole thing where I apologize for there not being an updated blog in a while, I would like to talk about the bus transportation here in Montreal.
In Montreal we have a varity of different kind of bus drivers. Some are male, some are female. Some are short, some are tall. Some are pale skinned, others are colored. You must get what I'm trying to say, but let me add one more. Some drivers are kind, others close the door on your face. Ok... you must all be asking why I'm talking about bus drivers, but don't worry, I have a point and a story to tell. Unfortunately I will not sing any songs about bus drivers for you, the primary reason being my inability to record a song right now.
Today, on my way back from working at the Salvation Army, I was on a bus. The bus was at a Metro Station(Underground Transportation), the beginning of its course. The bus driver was waiting till it turned 8:44 to leave.
Some people saw the bus and started running towards it to catch it. But it was like the bus driver saw them and started to leave. They ran after us... We stopped at a red light, and the people were knocking on the door asking to get in. The bus driver shook his head no and wouldn't let them in. Well, a man decided to stand in front of the bus so that the driver would not be able to move. My first thought was that the man was waiting until the driver would let him in. We sat there through several green lights and the man was still there. Then all of a sudden, when the light turned green again, the man ran across the street and ran for the next bus stop. The cruel bus driver zoomed by but was stopped by another red light. The man had made it to the next bus stop, and waiting there were 2 elderly ladies. Then it clicked - the man was standing in front of the bus to prevent it from moving to give enough time to the ladies to get to the next stop since the driver wouldn't let them in. I was shocked. My spirit was lifted!! When the man came on the bus he apologized to everyone for the delay. He added that he needed 'to give enought tiem for the 2 nice ladies to get to the next stop.' I wanted to clap!! I almost did, but instead I thanked him.
I'm sure if the mean bus driver was able to he would have refused to let the man in the bus when he was at the bus stop, but he had no choice in the matter.
The other day my brother came home from work laughing. He was in a joyous mood. You know why? All because another bus driver decided to be kind and sociable my brother was happy. Gab said that he was singing Christmas carols and telling jokes to everyone on the bus. lol. He even said that he waited for someone who was a block away from a bus stop but was running to catch the bus.
When people decide to smile and be kind to others, it's contagious, or it should be. All because that man was kind to the 2 older ladies I was in good sprirts. And because another driver was kind to all his passengers, my brother came home in a contagious mood that was joyful. This Christmas, how about trying to just smile at someone you don't know? Or doing a kind deed? In fact, instead of being kind only at Christmas, why not try it ALL year round?
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!
MJ December 06 My first day at work.I just witnessed a shooting on Saturday. I was standing at the Bay watching the kettle Saturday. I just got off my last 10 min break. Francois, the runner, had left just 2 seconds before I heard what I thought to be a firecraker. But then it was continuous. Half a second after the other. Seven times. People were screaming and running. I was in shock. When everyone cleared I saw a man on the ground, and at a distance there was a colored man running away with a gun in his hand, laughing. Just laughing. I was horifide. I wanted to run to him to see if he was ok, but I couldn't leave the kettle. But there were other people around him. He was moving... He leaned up and called the police on his cell. About 20 other people were dialing 911, so i grabbed my phone and called my dad. I was shaking.. I was crying... I told him what happened and then said that I was going to call Mr. Drury. Samething with Mr. Drury, I told him what hapened but this time the police had arrived and were asking me to move the kettle because they were putting up the police tape around the scene... I told Mr. Drury that and I was crying. He told me to take the kettle apart, and meet him at The BIble store. He was on his way. I hung up and needed someone to pray with me, so I called the Van Burens and asked for Pastor or Mrs. Van Buren. I spoke to Mrs. Van Buren and asked for prayer. As she was praying a lady came up to me and put her arms around me. She asked me if I was ok, and if I had seen it happen. I answered yes. She told me that the police were looking for witnesses and that I should tell them what I saw. She had them come see me, and they asked me questions. They had me describe the guy, then asked if i could stick around. I told them I couldn't cause i had to meet someone. So they had me tell them my name and phone number. Then the lady was back. She asked if I was going to be ok. I said yes, as I was taking the kettle apart. She then asked if i needed help, and then had a man help me carry the kettle to the Bible shop. But as we were waiting for the green light to cross the street, she told me that she was thankful that the man was still alive and that I was ok. She said, "God is good." I was stunned. I replied, "God is so very good." I thanked her for her help and said bye. When I turned around to wave good-bye, she was gone.
I think I saw an angel. I'm still shaken up about the scene that I saw, and it will forever be ingraved in my mind, but something is different. God watched over me. The bullets that were shot were headed in my direction. The gun went off 7 times and no one is dead. I'm alive. I'm sure God sent one of his angels to comfort me. I feel..... loved.
MJ November 27 Great things come in small packagesGreat things come in small packages.
My Gramma tells me this saying all the time 'cause I'm sometimes insecure about how short I am. Ok, I'm not all that short, but I could use a few more inches to my height. lol.
People love to joke about my 'shortness.' I only laugh with them. It is funny and true. (At least I can fit through small openings easily. hahaha)
I used to get annoyed when people would use that quote on me, but now I appreciate it. I'm not saying I think I'm a 'great' thing, but I am special like us all.
That was just a thought on my mind. Also I wanted everyone to know that I'm comfortable with my height.
P.S. Thanks for all the prayers about my math. I passed my test! November 24 Bring It On - Steven Curtis ChapmanI love the lyrics to this song 'cause it depicts how I feel. I'm not going to let the negative things in my life get me down anymore. I know that they will only make me stronger if I persevere through them. God using the rough times to build me up! Sooooo, what are you waiting for?.... BRING IT ON!! MJ
Bring It On - by Steven Curtis Chapman
I didn’t come lookin’ for trouble Bring it on Now, maybe you’re thinkin’ I’m crazy Now, I don’t want to sound like some hero Bring it on November 23 Yeah, I'm doing well.School... ugh...Just when I begin to think that I'm improving, I somehow manage to fall back down. (in school) I'm just not understanding my math. I failed my 'Pre-test' in math today... and plus I've just redid the PACE for the second time since I've already failed the real test. Argh. I don't get it. I used to love math, but now... I can't stand it.
Other than school, I'm doing pretty well. God has been showing me some things lately. I used to always carry around the weight of growing up without a mom. I'd ask God why he let her leave; Why he allowed my brother and I to mature without the care of a loving mother, etc. But I see no need to ask that anymore. I see no need to question God's plan. His plan is perfect, right? Then why doubt him?
God has shown me that I may have grown up without a mom, but he has been with me all along. I'm not alone. I never have been. I may have felt like it many times, but it's only a feeling. It has no root. Jesus Christ is my root. Or at least should be.
Sure, I miss the way my mom used to be; loving, and gentle, but I wouldn't ask God to change my life. He disigned it for me. He knows what I can and cannot handle. He'll never bring me to a place to heavy for me. He knows me better than I know myself.
Sleep well everyone.
MJ
November 19 Growing up...?Ever wonder why God loves us so much? I know I do. I mean to think that we each sin against him so many times yet he loves us more than anyting!! That's pretty awesome to think about. I can't believe how much he is there for us when we need him. I love it when I feel like he is holding me in his arms of love. I love it when he rocks me to sleep when I feel alone in life. His love is amazing. Truly Awesome!
Things are going kinda weird in my life lately. I feel... like I have more energy and more will to survive. Does that make any sense to you? In an odd way I finally feel like I'm growing up; maturing. God is good. I love him. I pray you are all well.
MJ November 16 I'm sorryForgive me for the previous blog I put up. Those of you who had read it before I deleted it, I ask for your forgiveness. Love you all. God Bless.
In Christ,
MJ November 08 Where am I?I'm so confused... I think I'm going to faint. I'm glad there are PED days coming up, 'cause I really need them. All this work and business of my life is driving me crazy. I've done things, and said things in my frustratiion that I now regret. What is happening to me?
Oh God!!! HELP ME!!! please. i beg you. MJ
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